In which a ravenous Amanda Donahoe devours the English countryside.
With The Lair of the White Worm, based on Bram Stoker’s novel of the same name, director Ken Russell (The Devils, Tommy, Crimes of Passion) combined some of his favorite themes into one truly bonkers horror-comedy about an ancient snake god’s horny and hot-as-sin priestess (Amanda Donohoe), who wreaks havoc throughout the English countryside, where an archaeologist (Capaldi), a nobleman (Grant), and two farmer sisters (Oxenberg and Sammi Davis) must somehow put a stop to her madness. Let the phallic fun begin!
And no one in the film has more fun with the phallic possibilities inherent in worshiping a snake god than English actress/mega-babe Amanda Donohoe, as the immortal Lady Sylvia. Make no mistake, the film’s cult status derives largely from Donohoe’s astonishingly committed performance. She devours everything and everyone in sight—I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Kings of Leon wrote “Sex on Fire” after seeing her in this film. Shes deliciously evil and oh so sexy. She’s also bloody funny, and seems to be having a campy good time. An early scene where she seduces a hapless young victim is deliciously evil, and also quite deadly for the poor chap.
One of my favorite old blogs, House of Self-Indulgence, once described Ken Russell’s The Lair of the White Worm (1988) as a “seductive masterwork of perverted deviancy.” They took particular note of the film’s alluring combination of floppy hair and nylons, both of which in a big fan of as well. The gloriously floppy hair is provided by the impossibly young and handsome Hugh Grant and Peter Capaldi, while the silky-smooth nylons cover sumptuous legs belonging to Amanda Donohoe and Catherine Oxenberg. The Lair of the White Worm is a Hall of Fame hosiery film, for sure, as Donohoe models one scintillatingly sexy pair of pantyhose after another. Her outfits in the film are exquisitely glamorous.
Besides Donohoe’s excellence, other treats include the young and impressively foppish dynamic duo of Hugh Grant and Peter Capaldi. The terrifying hallucination scenes filled with unholy imagery of various sexual acts will haunt your nightmares. The action builds throughout, culminating in Lord of the Manor James (Grant), Scottish archaeologist Flint (Capaldi), and bed and breakfast proprietor Mary (Davis) trying to rescue Mary’s sister Eve (Oxenberg) from becoming Sylvia’s latest human sacrifice to the snake god.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the dream sequence on an airplane with Donohoe and Oxenberg dressed as sexy stewardesses in thigh high stockings and garter belts. The two roll around on the floor fighting, to the delight of Grant, whose fountain pen grows ever-more erect, as a hilarious visual nod to his own arousal. It’s as sexy and silly as it sounds.
Religious blasphemy and phallic symbols abound all over the film. Donohoe proves just how game she is for anything by spewing venom at crucifixes and simulating fellatio on a large blood-covered spike (for real, this happens). If it all sounds like cheese city to you, well then you’re in luck, because it is—and it’s wildly entertaining. The Lair of the White Worm more than deserves its reputation as a certified cult classic.
The Lair of the White Worm is available to stream on Tubi.
Our Gal Friday Yvette dug this unfinished post out of the vault, so we owe her a debt of gratitude for finding and encouraging us to finish and publish it.
Yvette: A “debt of gratitude,” Monsieur? Ha! I’ll take ze pay raise you promised three months ago and haven’t delivered on yet instead, merci beaucoup.
The Starfire Lounge 