Lost and Found: P2

I love Christmas horror, and one of my favorites of the last few decades is the underrated P2 (2007). The title (referring to a parking garage’s second underground level), might not immediately scream “Christmas!”, but the film is set squarely on Christmas Eve, has plenty of lights and decorations, and even an antagonist donning a Santa Claus suit for part of the film. Directed by Franck Khalfoun (High Tension, 2003), P2 establishes a simple premise, then executes it quite well. A beautiful young executive gets trapped in her office building’s labyrynthian parking garage by a lonely and deranged security guard who just wants to put her in a fancy, low cut dress, chain her to a chair, and share a Christmas Eve meal together in his dingy office. He’s not asking for much, really!

The gorgeous Rachel Nichols stars as Angela Bridges, a young businesswoman who gets stuck working late in her Midtown Manhattan office building on Christmas Eve. Already late to the family party, she discovers her car won’t start. A socially awkward security guard in the garage named Thomas (a terrifically creepy Wes Bentley) offers to call her a cab. Angela never makes it into the cab though, as creepy Tom traps, then chloroforms her. When she regains consciousness, she’s in high heels and a sexy white dress that highlights her spectacular breasts, and she’s chained to a chair in the security office. Tom is there, and after having creepily undressed Angela (what happened while she was knocked out??), he creepily explains that he’s been creepily watching her via the building’s security cameras for some time and that, despite all of her “sins” (like getting groped by a drunk coworker), he truly, creepily loves her. Tom is grade-A lunatic material, and Angela is in a fight for her life. She spends the film trying desperately to escape Tom’s psychotic clutches in the empty, undergound garage.

Two paragraphs in and I’m afraid I’ve buried the lede, which is to say I should’ve mentioned by now that Rachel Nichols’ spectacular breasts are not just playing supporting roles here. No, they’re the two leads in the film. Never before or since have I witnessed such a brazenly audacious display of monumental cleavage. Eye popping and jaw dropping, it’s the sort of rack that makes you believe in God. Her bodacious bust is positively exploding out of her gratuitously low-cut dress. I’m guessing the director had an “A-ha” moment when wardrobe fitted Nichols for the dress: “Well, my path now is clear. Shot after shot, I must fix the lens on dear Rachel’s cups as they continually runneth over!” Her cleavage is simply ASTOUNDING. I’d write more, but words fail me when faced with this much awe-inspiring beauty.

Khalfoun takes great advantage of his star’s most ample assets. First he squeezes her into that salacious dress, which basically looks like a slip, and then he proceeds to dump water all over Nichols, making the already-tight dress even tighter. Weary and soaking wet, Rachel Nichols is truly put through the wringer in P2. Running, jumping, crawling, and fighting, Nichols turns in a memorably fierce, resilient, and cleavage-heavy performance. She and her magnificent melons are absolutely in my personal Horror Hall of Fame, thanks to this role. In the other main role in this cat and mouse thriller, Wes Bentley really shines as a scary stalker whose good looks can’t hide the fact that he’s a total nutball. I’ve liked Bentley since 1999’s American Beauty (a great film), and while he’s had a wonderfully productive career, he still manages to remain under the radar. He’s clearly having a blast playing a lovesick maniac in P2.

P2 takes a simple premise and pumps it full of tension. It helps enormously that our leading lady gives such a committed performance while providing some truly delicious eye candy. Nichols is fantastic, and her fear and desperation feel palpably real. P2 hasn’t exactly been lost over the years, but it opened to poor reviews and bombed at the box office. It has gained a cult reputation since, thanks largely to appearing regularly on streaming services. It became a Christmastime staple for me many years ago after I discovered it on Tubi. In fact, I just watched it again this Christmas season, in anticipation of writing this post. As always, and even though I’ve seen the film many times now, I still sat gobsmacked when faced with the gloriously gratuitous cleavage of Rachel Nichols. It never gets old, or any less impressive.

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P2 is streaming for free on Tubi, Freevee, and Pluto TV.