Susie—not Suzie—Diamond

Google searches for Susie Diamond constantly ask me “Did you mean Suzie Diamond?” No, Google! I mean Susie! You know, Michelle Pfeiffer in the 1989 Steve Kloves masterpiece The Fabulous Baker Boys? That Susie Diamond.

Susie is the role that should have won Michelle an Oscar. She won every other major award for her stunning, star-making performance, including the Golden Globe. But the Academy skewed sentimental and gave it to aging Jessica Tandy for a lesser movie that no one cares about anymore. Thirty-one years later and I’m still completely bitter, clearly. I will never forgive the Academy. That was Michelle’s year. No question.

I finally clicked on Google’s suggested spelling, Suzie, just for kicks. Turns out Suzie is a porn actress. Google, you sly dog, you. Thanks G, but I’ll stick to the undefeated champ, the original and still the best, the numero uno Ms. Pfeiffer herself as Susie D. After all, I named this site after one of the venues where Susie belted out standards and made hearts melt. Including my own, of course.

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