Hot Shots of the Week: Hair Metal Maidens

A Reddit user places this photo from 1986 at the Asylum Club in London, which seems mighty accurate to me. Hair metal was in full swing in ‘86, and Aqua Net sales were through the roof. These two hotties were living their best lives in ‘86, as evidenced by their fashionable couture (artistically shredded to within an inch of its life) and some of the most voluminously hair-sprayed ‘dos the world has ever seen (…and the ozone layer wept). Between hair and fashion, these ladies were true artists, basically the Picasso and da Vinci of their time.

They’re also in a serious competition for biggest, most epic hair, and longest, most luscious legs, and it’s practically a dead heat. Together, these metal maidens bring to mind the classic ‘80s conundrum: brunette or blonde? A question that tripped up many a man (and woman) back then—from Charlie’s Angels to WKRP in Cincinnati and beyond, the ‘80s confronted us with this impossible choice on a daily basis. While the bottle blonde is a real stunner, I’m inclined to call this one for the bodacious brunette. Not only is her hair closer to God, but her legs make you believe there even is a God to begin with. Plus, she’s giving major Kelly LeBrock meets Gina Gershon energy, and I am here for it. Yowza.

As Wayne and Garth would say, just a few years after this photo was taken,“We are not worthy.”