She Slays

Back in the ‘80s, you had already established what would be a lifelong love of butt-kicking heroines across multiple genres and subgenres—scintillating superheroes, fabulous Final Girls, interstellar space babes, atomic action stars, sexy spies, etc. So it’s no surprise that a blonde high school cheerleader by day who moonlights as a high-kicking, ass-whooping vampire slayer would grab your attention. Not only is this vamp hunter good at her job, she’s the goddamn Chosen One. And it sure doesn’t hurt that she wears extremely short skirts, tight sweaters, and badass high heeled boots while doing her Chosen One work. And she knows how to handle a big stake. Swoon.

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If you haven’t guessed by now, the “you” in that opening paragraph is moi, but it also represents a legion of my fellow Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans, and from all sexes and genders, too. A retelling and expansion of the 1992 movie of the same name Buffy the Vampire Slayer, was a midseason replacement in March, 1997 that premiered to little fanfare, but by 1998 was growing into both a popular and a critical hit. The show lasted seven seasons, and for that time in my life I was a devoted watcher (a pun for fans of the show) of the series. I watched it for the terrific writing, the relatable characters, and, of course, let’s not forget the plots:

Oh, those plots. Mesmerizing plots, I tell ya.

So not only was I watching one of the truly great series of its era (beloved by comic book and horror nerds the world over), but also eagerly ogling Buffy. Watching actress Sarah Michelle Gellar was always an easy task, seeing as she always looked drop dead gorgeous in Buffy’s absurdly sexy wardrobe over the first several seasons. There’s a reason why Buffy was voted “Most Likely to Expose Herself in the Hallway by Bending Over in Those Insanely Short Skirts” and that reason is twofold: she wore the tiniest skirts (with pantyhose in the first seasons!), and Gellar was a total smokeshow.

Eventually, the micro-minis and nylons went bye-bye in favor of skinny pants as Buffy graduated from Sunnydale High School and matriculated at the University of California, Sunnydale. Boy howdy though, Gellar looked incredible no matter what she wore. And in those early seasons especially, she was positively smoldering.

The cover story and photoshoot from Rolling Stone’s April 2, 1998 issue pretty much sent me into fits back then. Dressed in a sort of modified Vampirella-style getup, and looking for all the world like she wouldn’t mind a little sexy time after a hard day’s slaying, Gellar checked all my boxes in ‘98—and, it should be noted, has mostly continued to check them all in the years since. See Exhibit A:

Back to the RS photos for a sec before I leave you to drool in peace. I noted the similarities to Vampirella’s sexy red thong bathing suit here, and while Gellar’s is less revealing, it’s so insanely high cut in the crotch that we can confidently surmise the state of her personal grooming down there. What was that I said earlier about swooning? Swoon.