When it comes to minutes of screen time versus lasting impact, few horror movie characters make as much out of limited opportunities as the deliciously sassy tramp Eileen does in David Schmoeller’s excellent cult classic, Tourist Trap (1979).
Okay, okay, I can hear you already: “Tourist Trap? The one with über babe Tanya Roberts?? No way could any other character compete with the goddess (and Angel, and Bond Girl, and Sheena) Tanya in her breathtaking prime.” Listen, I completely agree you with you! Tanya Roberts resides in my very exclusive club of all-time crushes. Her physical beauty was so astounding that it makes me believe there just might be a God after all—although her sudden, untimely death in 2021 makes me question that possibility all over again. She was human perfection on two shapely legs! She’s also outrageously good in Tourist Trap. Rest assured, one of these days I will write at length about her in this movie.
For now though, we’re here to gush about this backwoods classic’s resident bad girl Eileen, as played magnificently by the lovely and hot-as-sin Robin Sherwood. Robin didn’t make a lot of movies, but thankfully she made Tourist Trap and gifted us with one of the great horror movie victims. You know the type: although they’re only onscreen briefly, they leave a gaping hole in the film (and in your heart) when they are so unceremoniously dispatched by a homicidal maniac. Think rock goddess J.J. Jarrett from Friday the 13th Part VIII. These characters don’t last long, but they leave an indelible mark on horror history.
Tourist Trap is about four friends (Roberts, Sherwood, studly John Van Ness wearing a killer vest, and Jocelyn Jones as a prim and proper prude) whose Jeep breaks down in the boonies someplace. A weird, but seemingly harmless old hick named Mr. Slausen offers to help. He serves them Dr. Pepper (out of an awesome vintage soda machine) and regales them with tales of his dearly departed wife and brother. Before too long, our four friends realize what happened to Slausen’s family and are trapped in a literal house of horrors. Mannequins, telekinesis, and rural horror have never fit better together than they do in Tourist Trap.
Speaking of fitting perfectly, Eileen sure knows how to fill out a pair of Daisy Duke shorts. Of course, so does her traveling companion Becky—no surprise, as Becky is played by the aforementioned smoke show Tanya Roberts, but more on her another time. Anyway, Robin Sherwood not only makes the most of her wardrobe—let’s not forget the red, heart-shaped sunglasses she apparently brought to the film herself because she felt they suited Eileen’s personality (and she was 100% correct)—but she also delivers every line with a sexy shrug and a seen-it-all snark that is absurdly endearing.
Although there’s no sex in Tourist Trap, (which might be why it got a puzzling PG rating despite the disturbing violence) Eileen positively radiates sex at every turn. When virginal, wet-rag Molly mewls that they can’t take a dip in a beautiful and pristine lake, Eileen removes those heart sunglasses, smirks, and purrs, “Who needs a bathing suit?” Soon enough she and Becky are skinny dipping (although Schmoeller has said he was too timid to ask his cast to be filmed in the buff, so we only see their bare shoulders).
Eileen isn’t just a sexpot though. She’s also pragmatic and skeptical, which means she knows something strange is going on with their kindly but creepy host Mr. Slausen. This prompts her to do some snooping around his property, and as we all know, that’s a bad idea in a backwoods horror movie like this. Consequently, Eileen doesn’t last much past the twenty-five minute mark, sadly. Her death scene is so creepy and very memorable.
Thanks largely to a vibrant and energetic performance from Robin Sherwood, Eileen belongs in two illustrious clubs: the “Bad Girls We Love” club, and the “Gone Too Soon, But Never Forgotten” club of horror movie victims. Tourist Trap is beloved by fans like me for many reasons: the inimitable Tanya Roberts; the crazy telekinesis-meets-murderous mannequins plot; Schmoeller’s terrific direction; Connors playing very much with and against type; and so much more. High on that list for me, though, would have to be Sherwood’s brilliance as Eileen. She’s gone before a half hour goes by, but boy howdy does she make the most of every second she’s onscreen.
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