It’s October, which means Halloween, which means horror, which means Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. If there’s one thing that consumes my thoughts as much as Halloween and horror, it’s Elvira, aka Cassandra Peterson. A dream of mine came true earlier this fall when I actually met Cassandra herself!! At a big, east coast horror fest, I stood next to Cassandra for a photo op, then chatted with her later during the autograph session. Truly, I’m still vibrating from the experience. I’ll try to write about it some more at some point, but for now just know this was the culmination of a lifetime of Elvira fandom, and I’m gonna be flying high from it for a long time. And by “long time” I mean for the rest of my life. And probably beyond that, too.
This recent brush with the greatness known as the Mistress of the Dark would explain why I’m pondering one of the true mysteries of our time today: why, exactly, was Elvira gussied up in a sexy French maid outfit for the 1980s VHS box cover of Thriller Video’s Alabama’s Ghost? Does a French maid play a critical role in the proceedings of this super obscure 1973 film? Because inquiring minds want to know, I did what anyone would do. I watched Alabama’s Ghost (thank you, Amazon Prime).
What the hell is Alabama’s Ghost, you might be asking? Well, here’s the snappy synopsis from Amazon:
“A nightclub stage manager stumbles upon a forgotten, secret chamber underneath his nightclub. Inside is an old magician’s belongings. He tries on the costume and he becomes ‘Alabama, King of the Cosmos.’ This new identity leads to a lot more than he bargained for. This wild film features voodoo, ghosts, vampires, robots, magicians, hippies, rock concerts, and more.”
So, could the “and more” at the end of that impressive list (“voodoo, ghosts, vampires, robots, magicians, hippies, rock concerts, and more”) possibly mean French maids?? Would that finally solve the mystery of why Elvira is cleaning the Thriller Video sign with a feather duster and looking like a flirty French tarte?
Well, I took one for the team to find out. By that, I mean I fast-forwarded through much of the movie in order to see if I spotted a French maid. I did not. I did, however, see all sorts of lunacy on display. This movie is insane. It’s also really boring. It’s also kind of incomprehensible (I know, I fast-forwarded some scenes, but trust me, it doesn’t matter). Then the ending is total bedlam with all those ghosts, vampires, robots, magicians, hippies, and rock concerts converging for a truly “WTF?!?” finale.
So, to recap. I didn’t clock any French maids in Alabama’s Ghost. And I just wrote 500+ words on it anyway. Somehow. Trust me, I’m questioning my sanity right now, too.
I guess Elvira was just feeling really industrious that day and wanted to dress the part while cleaning up around the Thriller Video studio. Or, the wardrobe department found the outfit buried on the rack and thought, “Hmmmm, maybe the absurdly leggy Cassandra Peterson would look hot as hell in this?” Ya think?? Whatever the reason, I’m just glad she did it, and that we got to we got to see everyone’s favorite Halloween Queen in a perennial Halloween costume favorite. Alas, she wasn’t wearing a French maid outfit when I met her, but I’ll forgive her because she was so sweet in person. I still can’t believe it happened!!
It’s worth noting that the skimpy French maid outfit isn’t the only variation Elvira has made to her wardrobe over the years. Not even close. She’s worn many different outfits, all with varying degrees of skin showing, though most lean towards maximizing Elvira’s ample cleavage and legage. You might remember the moonbathing attire she sports at the beach. Here are just a few other examples of the plethora of getups Elvira has squeezed into over the years…
The Starfire Lounge 
Uh, is that Mary Tyler Moore???
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